I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
