so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
