he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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