I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
