Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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