i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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