i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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