If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
