So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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