Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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