fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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