Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
