He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
