You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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