ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
