3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
