3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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