he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
