I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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