I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
