clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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