The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
