too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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