So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
