I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I want to fling myself into the sun
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
