last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
