i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
