it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
