Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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