just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
