No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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