just tell him i said nine months
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
