I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
