shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
