I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
