the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
