I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
