guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
