I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
