what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
