"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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