Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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