batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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