What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Boobs speak an international language.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
