Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
