It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
