somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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