this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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