so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
