Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
