I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
